Marriage Is Not A Romance Novel

It's no secret that men and women are wired differently, and have a difference of opinion when it comes to what they find sexy. Men are more visual creatures, easily turned on with just a wink, or a shortened skirt. Women on the other hand sometimes need a little more. Women crave an emotional connection, and want to feel close to their partner. But sometimes women forget that their spouse is not the sexy male lead that plans candle light dinners, or carriage rides in the park. Sometimes we ...

forget that marriage is not a romance novel, and the standards that are set on soap operas and television are just not real life.

My husband isn't a romantic man. He is a wonderful man, but when it comes to the romance department I have come to accept the bare minimum. He buys me flowers on all the right occasions, and makes dinner reservations on those special nights such as Valentine's Day, birthdays and anniversaries, but that pretty much is the extent of it. Most of the time I think it is perfectly fine, but then I go and watch something like my favorite soap opera, or watch a romantic comedy and I am left to think, "Hey, my guy doesn't do that! Where is my night with dinner prepared by my husband, romantic music and a bed of roses?"  Then I feel jipped and take it out on my husband who doesn't even know what he did wrong!

That is where the problems occur, when we put unrealistic standards onto our significant other. We want the first kiss to be just right, and we want to be proposed to in such a way.  We as women make fantasies in our heads as to how something “should be” and when it doesn’t happen that way we feel let down. But when you make these fantasies are you thinking of who your man really is?

When I start to feel let down in the romance department I try to focus on what my husband does do, and not what he doesn’t do. Romance can be found in ways you don’t expect. Hey, why not be wacky and plan a romantic evening yourself? You may be surprised how it turns out! You get the night you always dreamed of, and your man gets a happy wife! A total win/win situation!

photo credit: Clip Art from Microsoft Office Online

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About the Author:

afterthealter

After The Alter is a blog about my life “after the alter” meaning after being married, and the changes at go with it. I love being married, and here I share stories of my life as I learn how to be the best wife I can be and all my crazy thoughts along the way!

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