By: Links of Note for April 2009 « Peg Mulligan’s Blog

kellycuene 3 weeks, 6 days ago on Twitter

How to be more likeable: http://ow.ly/W2Er (by @glhoffman) Great tips in general and will def make you a better colleague

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61sherylwnhg 2 months, 2 weeks ago on Twitter

What Would Dad Say » The “How To Be Likeable” Series. Ten Things... http://tinyurl.com/yg7wysn

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Peg Mulligan 9 months, 3 weeks ago on Wordpress

G.L., thanks for a great post.

Re: Number 7. The Trick to Listening.

As communicators, we tend to focus a lot on what we are going to say or how we are going to respond (that is, on our own end of the conversation), rather than on “being in the moment” with other communicators and really listening to them, before formulating our own replies. Listening means forgetting our own messages (at least while the other communicator’s message is in transit), and trying to completely understand someone else’s point of view, before we respond with our own ideas.

You’re right, too…The more we really listen, the easier it is to validate others’ points of view, by recapping what they’ve said, or finding other ways to show we have listened and understood.

This point is helpful to me, as I start commenting on others’ blogs, for the first time. New to blogging, I felt a bit self conscious about responding to others’ posts, because I didn’t feel like I had a lot to add. That’s because I was too focused on what I would say, and not enough on the other blogger’s message.

By worrying less about my own point of view, and concentrating more on what other communicators are writing or saying, I find that I am now doing a better job validating others’ viewpoints, and as a consequence, am in a better position to add more value, in my own voice, and from my own point of view. I can do a better job responding now, because I have really entered into the spirit of conversation, where responses aren’t rehearsed, but the natural consequence of minds communing and creating new ideas, together.

That’s the paradox of social media and all communication–the more you concentrate on others, the more you find yourself. In a business sense, the more you give, the more you “get” back. And finally, the more you stop worrying about being liked, the more likeable you become. ... See all content Hide content

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Links: Roaring March 2009 Edition | Meryl.net 11 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

[...] How to Be Likeable: 10 Things You Can Do Today [Link: GL Hoffman] [...]

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Meryl Evans 11 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

One thing I learned from an unexpected source — ask people about themselves. Don’t spend time talking about yourself. I think I have a drawback of being a deaf person because when I try to be funny or cynical — people don’t realize it because my voice doesn’t do what it should.

So I try to cut that out, but it felt like I was depriving myself. I come across as a serious person, but really — I like to have fun.

That’s why I love the online community — it’s all words, no inflections. ... See all content Hide content

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ven 1 year, 2 months ago on Wordpress

this is a really helpful list. I’ve been having problems with people liking me – although I don’t think i’m that bad – but it doesn’t hurt to have more people like me

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Acey 2 years, 2 months ago on Wordpress

Today I was told that I was standoffish and I made people feel “put off”. Your post is exactly what I was looking for (I googled “how to be likeable”). Thank you!

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