The Ego Has Landed (Or Has It?) | danny brown

The Ego Has Landed (Or Has It?) | danny brown

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The Ego Has Landed (Or Has It?)

July 16, 2009 · Comments

Last night on Twitter, I saw a pretty high-profile user retweet a message he’d received from one of his connections. It was high praise about this person, and was retweeted verbatim with ...

no changes to the text.

My initial reaction to that was to ask the following question to the Twittersphere:

The responses came in thick and fast and they opened up a great stream of conversation for the next hour at least, with aspects to all sides of the original question.

David Spinks and Alex Tan opened up a great conversation around the question which you can read more of here.

From my own point of view, when I asked the question I was of the mindset that it leaned more toward ego as opposed to pride (or excitement at receiving praise). Did you really need to retweet the praise – couldn’t you just say thanks to the person who offered the praise?

But is that view right? Is it any different from having a testimonial page on a website, or asking for references for your LinkedIn account? Does the public conversation aspect of Twitter make it less “respectable” to promote your praise than a static site?

Someone mentioned that it’s like being at a cocktail party – you wouldn’t suddenly announce how great you are. Or would you?

So… is it ego, or is it pride? Is it being genuinely pleased or just being a pimp? Would you retweet praise verbatim about you? Over to you – the mic is yours.

If this is your first time here, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section and subscribe to danny brown to ensure you receive the latest updates.

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Tagged as:

ego,

narcissim,

pride,

twitter

Jennifer Hoy

Knee-jerk reaction? Ego. But then, if you just give thanks the message stops there. Why not share a little hard-earned praise while giving thanks at the same time? In the end, I'm landing on Pride, and Gratitude for the recognition.

Danny

Could you maybe give thanks and have a link to the praise instead, so it seems less egotistical? Or would that just defeat the whole point again?

Jennifer Hoy

No, I definitely don't think the link will defeat the point. That may be the most humble way to spread the testimonial, actually, and show gratitude.

David Spinks

Great convo and definitely worthy of a blog post follow up.I think you have it right that when it's in the public, live space that is twitter, it becomes more egotistical. Why? I'm not really sure. If anything I'd say it's more natural than a recommendation on linked in, or a solicited testimonial. This is someone, live, sharing their positive thoughts about you...or your brand. Why shouldn't you be proud? Proud could be saying thank you, perhaps the moment you try to leverage it for even more recognition, it becomes ego?Perhaps it's also different from testimonials/recommendations because twitter is essentially a live conversation. When you RT a compliment, you're pretty much interrupting the conversation to say "hey look at me". On a testimonial, or recommendation, it's opt in. People only read it if they want to read it. It's not forced into your conversation.Its also different for individuals vs brands...I feel like it's more acceptable for a brand, or someone talking about a brand, than it is for an individual.Interested to hear others' thoughts.@DavidSpinks@Scribnia

Danny

Do you think there may be the danger of jumping from, "Hey, someone thinks I'm great" to "Hey, look at me, I'm great"? And that's why there's such a division in views?

reneealexanderhamilton

Danny-Ego and Pride seem so similar to me; perhaps it's ego/gratitude. As someone new to the blog/tech/twitter world, I am incredibly humbled and flattered when I get a compliment. But alas I don't pull out my bullhorn and say "hey everybody I'm a bad ass!"

Danny

"Egotude"? :)It's a weird thing; perhaps it comes from us being told as kids that no-one likes a show-off? So when someone is praised and wants to share that, it comes over as conceited?

reneealexanderhamilton

We're all just insecure and haven't found out how to take a compliment gracefully. Nor how to self promote without seeming self promoting. Perhaps someone should write a book called "How to create a personal brand without coming off like a douche bag"

Tim

Feel no shame in your retweet my son....- Thttp://MostEmailedNews.com

whatawebsite

"Broadsword calling Danny Boy" ( to quote from that very fine film )Well it's a good questionBut I'd say the retweet was simply "me-marketing" first and foremost(with a touch of ego and/or pride and/or various other e-motions thrown in there)Pretty good "me-marketing" too from all this reaction !CheersWillhttp://whatawebsite.org/

websuccessdiva

Danny, danny, danny! You and your darn thought-provoking questions! I just had a conversation with a client who was being taught by a "blueprint" marketer to always retweet praise from others... and they are also teaching to retweet anything from anyone that mentions you -- for visibility. Many mistakenly believe retweets and mere "mentions" on Twitter equate to influence and real impact... it doesn't and it's not the only part of the picture.I say, it's ego-driven, old school, self-centric promotion. If you're a thought leader, if you're a leader in your market, if you're "marketing" and building relationships the right way -- you don't have to toot your own horn, even if it started with someone else's tweet.Just my two cents :-)

Danny

Hmm, that marketer sounds quite the sport! Anyone we know? ;-)I guess much of it could boil down to the person or company that retweeted the praise. Have they already got a good standing in the space? Do they normally toot their own horn? That might go a ways to answering the ego / pride question?But yeah, as Kara Schwab mentioned in the convo last night, "if you've got good shit to share, it'll stand on its own". So, who knows? :)

Mandy Vavrinak

Danny, I usually just @ the person and thank them if there is praise offered. Really see it as no different than thanking folks who RT something you've said... (do I need to RT their RT to "prove" I've put valuable content out there?).That said, I think there could be times when RT'ing praise is OK, and not just ego stroking. If I've finished a big project, and the client is way happy and chooses to say so publicly (their intent is to praise my work publicly) but they have 13 followers... may make sense to RT their praise and thank them, since it would be seen by more people... and their intent was clearly to have the praise seen by people. Does that make sense? In other words, if the praise was really meant as more of a private thank you then I wouldn't RT, just @ and thank. If it were meant as a public, visible attagirl, then I might.... depending on the visibility of their channel/stream.

Danny

That's a good point, Mandy, and one I can see the benefits of. In the case of the person that started this convo off, the original praise came from someone with more than 6,000 connections, so maybe in this case it was already visible?I do think your suggestion of whether it's viewed as private or public can sway the response. I'm not sure - it's a doozy and one that has valid merits on all sides :)

Mandy Vavrinak

True! I have been reading thru comments – many perspectives here! It's a fine, fine line between self-promotion and ego trumpeting. I think I'd prefer to err on the side of caution in this case. Would hate to have a network of peeps or tweeps I value think I'm pushing myself at them rather than contributing & interacting. But yeah... gotta view the business-building potential of a great comment/endorsement, just like a LI recommend or web site testimonial page. I see that, too.

LindsayMAllen

I'm torn. I feel like it's pretty egotistical. However, for a job-seeker like myself, it seems like such a retweet could serve a valuable purpose. However, I'll probably never do it. You're more likely to see me say "thanks." If someone is curious what I'm thanking someone for, it's not hard to find out (assuming the person being thanked has a public Twitter account).More cowbell ... less horn-tooting. :)

Danny

I think that's where the separation can come in, Lindsay. Like anything online, whatever the topic is can be found easily. Should someone have to do the work to see why you're being praised? Maybe, maybe not.Perhaps have a testimonial page on your blog or website with all the praise that's been leveraged toward you, and link back to where it's been said? Not sure - like you say, it's something that does make you wonder if either way is right or wrong.

LindsayMAllen

Great points, Danny! And you brought up something I neglected to mention ...I absolutely have a page of my Web site devoted to comments/praises I've received on evaluations, in letters of recommendation, etc. (and have secured permission from the sources to publish those items); it seemed like a logical thing to include on my site, since it is my portfolio/"sales piece." If I receive a tweet of praise, I may very well ask that person (via DM) for permission to include it on my Web site.Rather than a general right/wrong issue, it might be more of a question of the manner in which the information presented ... as is the case with so many other things!

Marja Ernst

Hmm... I've seen people retweet compliments on occasion, and usually don't have the least problem with it! However, for me it usually depends on 1) the compliment, and 2) my perception of the character of the retweeter.If the compliment is just "you're great", or something of the sort, it adds little or no value to the retweeter's community of followers. If it is "I love what you did with such-and-such a project", I tend to think of it somewhat differently. This retweet could potentially draw our attention to the retweeter's work without the retweeter talking it up himself. So, in a way, this is actually LESS egotistical or prideful on the retweeter's behalf than if he (or she) had brought it to our attention on his own.I find that my perception of a person's character also heavily influences my perception of their tweets and retweets. If a person I perceive as being somewhat egotistical or prideful regularly retweets highly complimentary tweets... well... let's just say it doesn't heighten my opinion of them... In the majority of cases, I don't mind people retweeting compliments they receive. In fact, I love it because it they are getting complimented (they usually deserve it), and it reminds me to go out and share some positive too :)There's my 2 cents. Really enjoyed reading the article, and all the other comments!

Danny

And a fine two cents it is, Marja! :)I think what a lot of the views seem to be coming down to is built around perception. The person, the message, if there's any amending of the message with a preface or suffix to offer your thanks for the praise.And I do like your point about how it can be a reminder to offer praise more ourselves - we can forget that at times.Thanks for dropping by, and you're always welcome in the conversation!

PurplePeopleEater

I know nothing about twitter, so I don't know how it works in terms of viewing other people's "posts". So let's think about it in terms of facebook. For example, if I posted in my status someone's wall post congratulating me on getting into law school I think that would be a pretty douchebaggish thing to do. I know if I saw that I would be turned off. Re-posting praise and congrats and the like is exactly the same to me as a person posting over and over again things related to their own accomplishments (as in multiple posts about the SAME thing...I think it's fine to post about your new job and other achievements to let people know). It's annoying, and any praise that you may have had for that person gets diluted with the realization that they're self-absorbed.It's especially annoying since people can see that someone else wrote on your wall congratulating you for something in the feed if they are also friends with them. Or they can just see it on your own wall. If it's a personal praise, then no one else needs to know about it except your friends. If it's a business, then it's a little tougher. Reposting it is really the equivalent of a testimonial posted on a website...but since twitter isn't really constructed for that purpose (company websites are) then it's still pretty ego saturated more than an expression of pride. Pride to me is saying thank you and maybe telling those close to you "Hey, so-and-so said something really nice to me today." The minute you start shouting it out to the world, then we're talking more about ego than pride.

Danny

Hey there Stephy, Always a pleasure having you in these parts! :)That's a great comparison to bring up, and particularly as you're not a Twitter user yourself. Mentioning it to close friends as a pride/happiness approach is one thing; but are you really close friends with say, 20,000 people? Probably not. And that could make the difference.Thanks again, Stephy, great to have a non-Twitter view to offer another voice. :)

PurplePeopleEater

Well, as long as I am able to provide perspective from the non-Twitter using world then I am happy to serve! :P

Cheryl

Hmmmm...that's a tough question. If someone gives me praise, I immediately sit and wait for a biscuit. Kidding. Sort of.If I think the praise is genuine, I say "Thank you". There's no need to RT what the person said. If others see it and RT it, fine. I think a simple thank you or a DM letting the person know you appreciated the kudos is enough.

johnhaydon

If retweeted praise turns you off, and you disagree with it, that's one thing. But if retweeted praise pushes your buttons (and I mean the Big Red Button), then look in the mirror. It's probably you with the ego (and I mean the general you, not Danny).Lego my ego!

heatherwhaling

I can't believe I missed this whole conversation last night -- looks like a good one!!Generally speaking, I think RT-ing praise is just an attempt for someone to say "hey, look at me." Having read the comments on this post, I realize that there are some people RT-ing for other reasons ... but still. It just gives off an odd vibe. I think if you're good at what you do, people will take notice -- without you having to shove it down their throats. Instead of RT-ing praise about yourself, try to pay-it-forward: Say something nice someone else. That will build up more goodwill than a self-promotional RT.Heather (@prtini)

Danny

Good point, Heather - I've seen a lot of people not give out praise, but are happy to suck it up. Kinda goes against the image a lot of people are trying to project of themselves... ;-)

Brandon Mendelson

It's both. But here's the rub: Testimonials from third parties are more powerful than self-promotion. So doing this the right way may be helpful, especially on Twitter when it is so easy to knock someone out of your stream.The praise could reassure other users that they made the right choice in following you.

Danny

Not a bad idea, Brandon. Wouldn't it be cool if there was a tab on your account that users could click and it uses certain keywords or phrases to show what people are saying about you? Almost like an instant approval system?

Brandon Mendelson

I think that's coming. Have you seen Tweet Feel? http://www.tweetfeel.com/It's not totally accurate, but between this and SkyGrid we might soon be able to provide real-time information to people following us about how others feel about us.It could get a bit ridiculous with that much information, but also a bit fun.

Jamie Favreau

I know I don't RT compliments. If you have a huge ego I guess you would. I am kind of a shy person if you can believe it.

valeriesimon

Great question. I recently received a RT on an article I wrote from one of my favorite journalists/ personal hero's. I was so excited I wanted to share it with the world. Yes, I was proud. I called my husband (who only sort of understood why it meant so much to me), and I told the person I had interviewed in the article, because, let's face it, the subject was the reason the piece was so interesting. I nearly did a catwheel in my office, knowing that this person whom I admire and respect so much, found something I had written to be of value. And I was hoping that others who might not have read the article, would do so after hearing his tweet. But I did not retweet.RT'ing someone else's praise just seemed wrong...self serving. Instead, I sent him a DM to let him know how much the praise meant to me. And wouldn't you know, several others picked up on his RT and also retweeted. As you noted earlier per Kara Schwab "if you've got good shit to share, it'll stand on its own".

SEOcopy

Personal engagement on Twitter is part of anyone's strategy. Why would you use recommendations on your website? We all do it in the business world, it's nice to see clients appreciate you. Sometimes it does verge on "Ego" when it goes on and on. It's almost shameful. Great topic thanks for bringing this into a blog.

Ari Herzog

Without sharing the tweet in question, how can I respond? I don't like to write about things without knowing the facts. Oh, and since you moved to Disqus, you removed the microphone option so how can "the mic" be mine?

George F. Snell III

I think it depends on the circumstances. If you win a Nobel Prize and tweet about that is it ego? Or are you just excited and want to spread the news to people who follow you? If a company tweets about their product winning best in show that's a way to show people how good the product is and why they should buy it. That's good marketing.Perhaps the question is more about the state of mind of the person who RTs the praise. Why are they doing it? What is there motivation?

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