When Worlds Collide

Updated 2 months, 3 weeks ago

Source: http://insideiamdancing.wordpress.com/

I first started reading food blogs because I genuinely had absolutely no idea what/how to eat. I had been “prescribed” meal plans to follow in order to gain weight, and I had self-devised meal plans to match whatever disordered thoughts/fears I had at that time. When it came to normal eating? I didn’t have a clue. I initially lurked on a message forum for students and found a thread called, “what did you eat today?”. I read it every.single.day. I was intrigued- a morbid fascination with how people ...

without eating disorders picked their food and ate according to hunger/schedule/cravings. This whole concept was entirely foreign to me. In time, I discovered food blogs. This was about 2-3 years ago now and there were nowhere near as many as there are now. I read them every day- stared longingly at foods I could never imagine myself eating, was awestruck by how these people managed to COOK and EAT and get on with their lives. Studying, work, family…as well as eating? What a novel concept. That sounds sarcastic- trust me, it’s not. All the people I knew at that point in “real life” struggled with the same difficulties I did. None of us ate “normally”- granted, some were further along in recovery than others, but I didn’t have any regular contact with anyone who had a healthy relationship with food.

Fast forward to now. I still read blogs. I LOVE food blogs. Why? I’m not sure. It’s no secret that people with eating disorders are obsessed with food. It’s no secret that this this is a response to starvation that doesn’t always go away, even after years of regular healthy eating habits. But is it healthy for somebody with an eating disorder to spend so much time reading about food?

There are varying opinions on this, and obviously it is different for everyone. What works for one person won’t work for another. I can only speak for myself.

So why do I read blogs? A huge part of me really still doesn’t quite ‘get’ how non-disordered people eat. Intellectually, I can grasp the idea, but I have no personal experience of this that I can recall. I eat by the clock, I eat a specific number of calories a day and I get more annoyed than anything if my body sends out a sign asking for a drink/snack. It’s not time yet, dammit. I have also not found a way to juggle eating properly with any other “life” stuff. I haven’t found a way to manage both recovery and ‘life’ at the same time. I read to 1) learn about food, cooking, health (just to name a few) and 2) because I look up to people who have found a place where they are successfully balancing health/food/work/fun/goals. Not that I put people on pedestals or imagine that all is peachy in their worlds, but I have the upmost respect for those of you out ther who are actively working towards (or have reached) a happy-medium. I’ve reintroduced and discovered a myriad of foods I never would have dreamed of eating through reading blogs- baking my own muffins? Peanut butter in oatmeal? ‘Crack wraps’? Genuis. Granted, they take a lot of preplanning and need to meet my ‘criteria’, but it’s a hell of a lot further forward than this time 3 years ago when my idea of variety was eating a different flavour of Nutrigrain bar for my snack.

It’s a hobby. It’s fun. It’s interesting, educational and it’s therapeutic. For me. I’ve ‘met’ some incredible people, both in real-life and online through blogging. All interested in health and food. Something I am passionate about- but is this passion a manifestation of my disorder, or would this be a common interest regardless of how my relationship with food has been?

It has been suggested to me that a person who should be moving away from a pre-occupation with food would be better off doing other things to fill their time than reading about what people are/aren’t eating. My opinion on that is that I am going to be thinking about food, regardless. Either I will be reading about healthy lifestyles or I will be trapped in my own thoughts and obsessing endlessly about what I am/am not eating, what rigid regime I should be following. Clearly, this is not ‘recovery’. This is just the way I channel my food obsession. Is it healthy? I don’t know. Is it better than the alternative? Yes.

I can’t help but wonder what other people think of this issue, in general. There has been a huge surge in both food blogs and recovery blogs- some combine the two, some are separate. I love both- I love hearing about people’s lives, their hopes, their goals, their triumphs and their tears. I love that people are so honest and open and I learn something from every blog I read. I relate so much to what I read, regardless of who is writing it or what has prompted them to post. But sometimes I feel very out of place commenting on food/fitness blogs. I wonder what people think of me- if they think I am the same person that lurked years ago, wishing I had “permission” to eat the foods they ate? If my opinion is immediately disregarded because what would I know about good food/healthy lifestyle if I have eaten nothing but tuna and fat free yogurt for the past X years? Obviously I do eat a whole bunch of different things and definitely get variety. But I still wonder what bloggers without a disordered past think about the ‘merge’ between food blogs and eating disorders blogs.

I really hope that I haven’t stepped on anyone’s toes with this post. I wasn’t going to write it, but it’s been on my mind for a while and I would LOVE to hear what you think

Why do you read blogs?

What do you think about food blogs in eating disorders recovery?

If you struggle with an eating disorder, do you feel like reading fo0d blogs helps you or feeds your obsession?

If you don’t have a history of an eating disorder, how do you feel when someone who is open about their issues commenting on your blog?

38 comments on this story

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Showing 37 relevant reactions out of 38.

chuck 2 months, 3 weeks ago on Wordpress

Good post, however I inviting you to visite my blog I’ve posted Eating Disorder!! The Expert Advice On Binge Eating Disorder. Today it is a big problem. FAT FAT….

Emily (The Experimentarian) 2 months, 3 weeks ago on Wordpress

Hmmm…interesting post. Like others, I have been turning this question over lately myself. But I agree–the first blog I looked at was Eat Like Me, and it is still my model for a healthy relationship with food, not just healthy food.

I have always loved to cook and bake and I hope I always do. Food is something that DOES hold true pleasure for me when I am able to separate it from ... See all content Hide content

Oh, It’s Friday Already? « Inside I'm Still Dancing 2 months, 4 weeks ago on Wordpress

[...] My Food Philosophy ← When Worlds Collide [...]

bambizzle 2 months, 4 weeks ago on Wordpress

I love food blogs, although it is hard sometimes seeing people be so healthy and exercising and sometimes it does make my brain go crazy with comparing myself to them. But otherwise i think I have a healthy relationship with them.

I think it is better to constantly see people with healthy attitudes and fill my mind with that then with calorie counting and things that lead to very bad things . ... See all content Hide content

Food-Fitness-FreshAir 2 months, 4 weeks ago on Wordpress

Similarly, I read blogs to get tips on other people’s healthy lifestyles, and because it’s just fun! Although, I would advise to limit your reading of food blogs because until you get your mind away from being wrapped around food 24/7, it’s going to be very hard to establish a healthy relationship with food. When food constantly fills our mind, it tends to stress us out and isn’t ... See all content Hide content

janetha 2 months, 4 weeks ago on Wordpress

WOW love this post. def not stepping on any toes here. it is refreshing to read your point of view and also all the comments.. it is crazy that we ALL read food blogs but we ALL have our own unique reasons/motivations/etc. and honestly one of my favorite things about reading food blogs is when someone writes a thought provoking post like this one from you ellie! i mean just look at the conversation ... See all content Hide content

tropicaleats 3 months ago on Wordpress

Oh you amaze me with every post you make

I’ve always grown up loving the process of cooking. For every holiday meal I’d always go over to my grandma’s house early in the morning so that I could help her prepare the big family feast. Food network is also my addiction.. I just love the feel good vibe of it! Everyone in the world loves food– it’s one thing we all ... See all content Hide content

Ada 3 months ago on Wordpress

Wow, this was such an insightful post! I, strangely, do not really read blogs for the “food” aspect, but love learning about people’s lives and getting to know how people in other parts of the country/world live their lives.

lilveggiepatch 3 months ago on Wordpress

I love this post. I could go on, but you articulated everything so beautifully.

I think food blogs have positives and negatives for everyone, whether they have a disordered mindset or not. If I’m having a bad day and don’t feel great about myself, I don’t want to read blogs. Most of the time I love it, and get a lot of inspiration in terms of writing, recipes, and just fun ... See all content Hide content

Emily 3 months ago on Wordpress

I really liked your honesty in this post. It’s hard for me to even be this honest on my blog sometimes!

I read blogs because I get inspiration for meals from other bloggers and often learn more about current health issues and questions that others have. It’s really important for me to make my blog a source of credible nutrition info, so I try to scope out the foodies and see what ... See all content Hide content

crazylittlethingneela 3 months ago on Wordpress

ellie, once again an amazing post from you! your blog is always a place for me to come to and remember that the world is a much better place without the ED. thank you for giving me this feeling and for giving me strength with your words

have a great wednesday

xoxo

Chelsea Ward 3 months ago on Wordpress

First off, I just want to commend you on an extremely insightful, candid, and absolutely wonderful post.

It sounds like you’ve come a very long way with your struggles and have a lot of progress and accomplishments to be proud of.

In answer to your questions:

1) I read food blogs for a variety of reasons (entertainment, recipe ideas, hearing about people’s day ... See all content Hide content

Emily (http://funnyemily.wordpress.com) 3 months ago on Wordpress

wonderful post. i totally understand every word of it. for me blogs helped me to realize that i was not treating my body improperly. & and they help me immensely now as i admit to myself that i need to gain. but sometimes it feeds into my food obsession….

every blogger i have “met” is so supportive and i find that i have many similarities with all the bloggies. sometimes ... See all content Hide content

Allie (Live Laugh Eat) 3 months ago on Wordpress

I admire you in that a) you can share your thoughts and feelings openly on your blog and b) that you look UP to people for their healthy eating rather than look down upon them.

Reading blogs was a huge eye opener for me 2 years ago when I was struggling with eating actual meals. It not only gave me healthy meal ideas but it showed me a realistic eating style and amount that encouraged me ... See all content Hide content

Sue Ann 3 months ago on Wordpress

i have been struggling with weight for years but i doubt it is an eating disorder — just runs in my family. nevertheless, i love to cook and love to eat. i used to buy the cooking magazines but now i read food blogs just about every day to get ideas. love pioneer woman, foodblogs.com and the different food porn sites.

brandi 3 months ago on Wordpress

I’ve always wondered about this, too. While I never had an ED, I definitely didn’t just eat what I wanted/when I wanted for a few years. I was doing weight watchers, which had me count for things and track instead of relying on my own hunger signals, etc. I was always wondering when reading these blogs if I would ever be able to just to do that – to eat and be normal. To have what ... See all content Hide content

Diana 3 months ago on Wordpress

this is a great post! i read food blogs bc they give me ideas for new things I can eat/cook/bake. I’ve seen many food blogs be very helpful for people with eating disorders. I would think most bloggers would welcome ANY commenters with open arms and encouragement for whatever struggles they may be going through. The group seems to be overall very supportive.

burpexcuzme 3 months ago on Wordpress

Hey, are you really gonna go to the next Foodbuzz Fest?!! Think you can handle it?! PLEASE COME!! I’m gonna go if it kills me! GO GO GOOO!

My Organic Intuition 3 months ago on Wordpress

this is a GREAT post! i think i stumbled upon food blogs in the same way as you– for me it was when i was pretty much at my worst and had a FIXATION and fascination with food and how other people lived– i felt “powerful” because i ‘thought’ i had more ‘control’ than others– what a DELUSION! yet on the other hand..i have to credit food blogs to also ... See all content Hide content

Marina 3 months ago on Wordpress

I remember when I first met you we discussed this… When I tried recovering on my own from anorexia, like you, I simply had NO idea on how to eat anymore. Looking at food blogs really did help me, although I did still struggle with bingeing and restricting for a while… but eventually I was able to straighten myself out for the most part, by allowing myself to eat like a NORMAL person instead ... See all content Hide content

Therapy of a different sort « Worthless Words 3 months ago on Wordpress

[...] true, Ellie recently posted on her blog about why she starting reading blogs and what she liked about them. For [...]

biz319 3 months ago on Wordpress

I enjoyed reading this honest post. Although I’ve never had an eating disorder (although after I stopped being a 4 season athlete I gained 100 pounds – that’s another story!), but I love reading blogs because it affirms to my husband that yes, there are people who think/read/cook about food as much as I do!

You and Sophia (Burp & Slurp) are such an inspiration to girls ... See all content Hide content

trcaprini 3 months ago on Twitter

When Worlds Collide « Inside I'm Still Dancing: Why? I'm not sure. It's no secret that people with .. http://bit.ly/3WFIlN

alterhealth 3 months ago on Twitter

When Worlds Collide « Inside I'm Still Dancing http://bit.ly/28BNOO

themilkfreeway 3 months ago on Wordpress

I was just thinking of you this morning

The Minnesota experiment is fascinating, I always quote the results to people who have funny ideas about eating disorders. But you know what? After…eight months of eating properly and gaining weight I’m actually not obsessed with food anymore. Seriously. I don’t comb through my recipe books obsessively, food blogs kind of bore me (obviously ... See all content Hide content

Telstaar 3 months ago on Wordpress

Hey chicka babe!

Have been thinking bout you lots and lots.

I don’t have a huge interest in food blogs and I’ve always tended to avoid ANYTHING food related because it was far easier to forget it existed then acknowledge that I might be something, uh, hungry! When I WAS hungry, I would try to overwhelm myself with choice and thus not choose anything. So its actually only ... See all content Hide content

julia 3 months ago on Wordpress

Love this post!

For me, blogging is something I just like to do and also something that keeps me reminded of my recovery…

xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

burpexcuzme 3 months ago on Wordpress

Great topic, Ellie. I’ve been wondering about this myself, for some time now. I just haven’t sat down to ponder over it, or verbalized it yet.

I read blogs because I love reading about people’s lives. It’s very interesting to me to see all these different personalities and lives. But I used to read blogs for the exact same reason as you: I wanted to know what is “normal ... See all content Hide content

healthbyholly 3 months ago on Twitter

When Worlds Collide « Inside I'm Still Dancing: If my opinion is immediately disregarded because what would.. http://bit.ly/1GNIqT

GTNP 3 months ago on Twitter

When Worlds Collide « Inside I'm Still Dancing http://bit.ly/3RZ7bd

BroccoliHut 3 months ago on Wordpress

Great post–very thought provoking.

I do have a history of anorexia, and I have often wondered if food blogging is healthy. I’ve come to a similar conclusion that you have–it encourages me to love food, eat it, and enjoy it in a way that a normal/nondisordered person would. It is a bar better option than eating the same, low-calorie things as I did during my ED days.

verbalriot 3 months ago on Wordpress

Wow. What.A.Post. I want to jump on a plane to Scotland!

I read blogs for inspiration, a challenge, a recipe, an artistic representation, a lifestyle, a sympathy, a lesson. I think there are so many reasons and although many blogs I read initially attracted me because of their food content, I go back to a lot of them for so much more. It’s so easy to find a way to relate to someone ... See all content Hide content

Anne 3 months ago on Wordpress

Wow, this is a great post. I started reading blogs for recipe and food ideas, as well as getting an idea of how normal healthy people ate. Now I still love getting healthy meal ideas and product reviews, but I like the bloggers and genuinely like to read about their lives and how things are going. My blog is basically a personal blog with a food/fitness highlight.

And I did have an eating ... See all content Hide content

psychoj1 3 months ago on Wordpress

I think this is a very touchy subject, and I really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on the subject! Thanks for sharing girl!

For me personally, I LOVE food/health/etc blogs. I am fully recovered, so while I guess you could say I look at food more than the average person, I am not triggered or comparing. Although it’s easy to compare, I think the key is that everyone is different. Everyone ... See all content Hide content

Abby 3 months ago on Wordpress

Oy…once again, words right out of my mouth. I could ramble on and on and boost your ego and repeat everything you said, but instead I’ll ramble about your questions.

For me, food blogs are a slippery slope. I think there is an element of competition and cliquey-ness that exists in some realms, and there are many out there who keep food journals rather than food blogs. With that ... See all content Hide content

blueeyedheart 3 months ago on Wordpress

I love this post… it verbalized so many of my own thoughts. Obviously, I can only speak for myself, but I’ve always felt slightly hypocritical commenting on “health” blogs. Yes, in theory I know what is healthy; but in actuality, I can’t begin to fathom it. I guess, like you said, I have a sort of fascination with it… that people really do live like that, and it’s ... See all content Hide content

eatsleeplaugh 3 months ago on Twitter

new post: when worlds collide- http://bit.ly/3P97OY

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