Confessions of a 36 year-old woman

criana 3 months ago on Twitter

watching @missrogue's video: Confessions of a 36 year old woman. http://is.gd/4POsr I can relate in many ways.

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Ben 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

Any man that says “I cannot date you because you are more successful than I.” is an idiot. They must be insecure about themselves. If they are really looking for a life partner, how much she makes should not be a deal breaker. If it is, he is not worth it anyways.

I am 32 and also feel like I’m in the middle of the social classes. I do think that I act younger than my age and care a little too much about what the next big thing on the internet is going to be. Although I truly think that this is the best time of my life. I have had more fun since turning 30 than when I turned 21.

Tara, just know that there are others out there that feel the same as you do. ... See all content Hide content

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Karen 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

I applaud your courage in willing to put yourself out there so candidly in reflecting on your personal experience.

I must admit to having a reverse experience from what you’ve described: I generally have been feeling more in my skin and more confident as I’ve been getting older, but that was mostly because I was slightly socially isolated in elementary and high school dealing with body image issues (fallout from long-term treatment for scoliosis). At some point this will likely collapse, and being who I am, I think about that inevitable return a lot.

For my recent 25th birthday, I watched Synecdoche, New York, for the second time – a great, though jarring and somewhat meandering, film about (among a host of other things) failure — of bodies, of aspirations — and middle age. I agree with what you say: society currently doesn’t give us many graceful models of women aging. Really, how many of us are going to be Madonna? Or Kylie Minogue? That was, perhaps, the thing I appreciated the most about Synecdoche, New York — the protagonist is a male, and throughout the entire film, there’s only one other male character. Everyone else is female, interesting, and more importantly, ages differently and has very different motivations, reactions, and approaches.

I think it really comes down to the narrative arc one wants to be able to tell about our life (not to get too death-focused; a risk for me, lit minor). For me personally, and I suspect for you, it’s about not letting the misconceptions and expectations get in the way of meaningful connection, and the fear that those expectations that everyone else has, that aren’t really about us as people, will start to work against us even more than they have previously. ... See all content Hide content

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Mike Drips 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

Gus like Jason make me want to turn in my “man card”, except if I switched genders that wouldn’t work because I couldn’t afford the clothes.

My 22 year old daughter held up an eyeshadow stick in Sephora on the Champs Elysees last week and said “Dad this only costs 30 Euros!” My fashion and makeup knowledge immediately surfaced as I replied “Is that a lot?”

I’m sticking to being a guy since it is cheaper even though there are billions of dolts like Jason out there. ... See all content Hide content

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Jason 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

Tara,

I cannot for the life of me believe that a successful, accomplished woman would publish such a juvenile, meandering dissertation on the perils of growing older. This video does nothing but expose you as a whingey superficial woman who worships the cult of celebrity. Wake up and get on with your life and stop complaining!

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Donna Jackson 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

You have a job and probably a morgage, that = needing some sleep, reality! So youre in your prime! 35 to 90 rules.

Yet, You havent yet reached that great sweetspot when you dont care what your neighbours think, or anyone else for that matter.

When I was in my early thirties, I would walk into a room and say, ” what do these people think of me”, Now I walk into a room and say ” what do i think of these people”.

Beauty and sexiness really does come from within. Enjoy where you are girl, its only going to get better.

Thank God some men see you as a cougar and say you’re not for them. Timewasters,who needs them? Don’t look at age, look at soul, I’ve been where you are, Start glorying in your strength and a worthy man will show up. See ya soon. ) ... See all content Hide content

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Kerry 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

Wow – having watched it now, I don’t know where to start. You cover a few distinct themes:

1. The generation gap (the sandwich between the 40+ and the rising 20s) – perhaps we’re really the Janus Generation, doomed to look both ways, presenting different faces to the generations on each side of us. Will it disappear in our next decade? Would we want it to?

2 . The expectations of image and the demands it places on both budget and self-image – clothes are definitely a common thing between men and women (though I recall discussing this once with a manager and she and I reached the conclusion that women were better catered to in that respect as women’s suits are comparatively cheaper than the equivalent quality men’s suits – though that might just be a NZ thing)

3. How the metabolism changes and aging becomes more visible – or is it that we change the sorts of activities that we spend time on? I noticed that when I went teaching for a few years the walking around the classroom all the time and seldom sitting down made a huge difference to my health – for the better – and its one thing I miss now that I’m working in an office sitting at my desk in front of a PC for a good part of the day. Perhaps.

4. Dating for successful women. I think the hardest part of dating in one’s 30s is that one is more entrenched in one’s ways than when one was younger – compromise gets harder if you’ve been accustomed to doing your own thing for any length of time. This might explain the success thing youve encountered – perhaps they feel that they might have to break their habits too much to accommodate you? Doesn’t justify it, though. Who knows. Personally I think that men tend to fall into two groups – those that become more selfish with age, and those who become less so. (A tautolgy – but I had to say it.) ... See all content Hide content

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Dave S. 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

What a spot on video. Granted I can’t completely empathize with you – since I am a guy – I think there is a heaps of universality in what you said. I’m a soon to be 35 year old with a son and feel the same displacement so I am guessing it is partly generational (we are the sandwich generation afterall) and partly transitional. In the end it’s a really interesting time to be finding our way, making our mark, leaving a legacy and hopefully having a bit of fun in the process. I think what will separate the best from the rest is taking the time, as Matt pointed out, to get to know ourselves and proceed based on that knowledge and the rest of our experiences. With regard to your comment about guys your age not being interested or being intimidated by smart, strong, successful women, I’d suggest that you are probably talking to the wrong ones. I for one would get bored if the women in my life were any other way. Physical appearances are only a fleeting facade, intelligence, humor and personality keep a woman interesting (and timeless). I’m glad you took time to share your thoughts (and perhaps insecurities). It’s good to know that others are in a similar place in their lives.

Oh yeah, while your at it…could you please turn the music down? I’m trying to get some sleep. ... See all content Hide content

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Melissa Chang 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

Man, aging sucks! I’m 34 and definitely feeling many of the same things that you are talking about here (although I’m married and have no kids). This in between age is really weird. But one of the hardest things for me is that no matter how uncomfortable it feels, or how uncertain I am about my … maturing … looks, I know that they will NEVER BE BETTER THAN THIS! (likely)

And yes – the magazines are such a nightmare in many ways. And don’t even get me started about the “aging stars” and “super models” who they show in the face cream commercials who are have so many “signs of aging.”

Thanks for putting this out there. You’re definitely not alone. And now I know that neither am I. ... See all content Hide content

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fbdater 3 months, 1 week ago on Twitter

Confessions of a 36 year-old woman | ::HorsePigCow:: marketing ... http://bit.ly/4nvoXH

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Kerry 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

I’m at work, so haven’t watched it yet (will save that for home), but Matt’s comment really hits it on the nail for me.

To be honest, I’m starting to find it really difficult at 38 and single. All the other guys my age seem to have families and children whereas the younger set seem to be still into the partying and drinking, or else working through their ambition 24/7 . Moving cities a few times in recent years hasn’t helped with finding a set of people who are more into conversations over dinner and the like.

However … in terms of feeling comfortable in my own skin, I think I’ve really come a long way. Although I don’t feel complete, I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been. I think the key is to focus on the direction rather than the goal (being me that means taking multiple paths at once, some peter out but there’s always another that’s broadening so it doesn’t really matter ... See all content Hide content

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Gabe Wachob 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

@matt Thats a good way of putting it. I think thats right. And I almost feel sorry for people who are trying so hard to prove themselves without understanding themselves. Its the arrogance of age, I know

@tara on being single/dating – it is totally different at our age, especially for me since I have two relatively young kids. Though tis nice to have that wisdom and perspective I mentioned above… really helps. Personally I don’t have that issue with dating a more successful woman – I’d be happy to date the president of the US if she were a she… ... See all content Hide content

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Aprille 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

Hey,

I agree. At 35, I sometimes feel quite old, but then I flip to feeling quite vibrant.

The most stressful part is the feeling that maybe time is flying too fast. I’m still young! I don’t mentally feel like I should have kids or spend more time thinking retirement or be soooo accomplished that I have a second house somewhere. And yet I sometimes feel like society expects me to be there. And then the guilt hits that I’m letting time flow by and I’m not taking full advantage.

At work, I’m still in the set of younger employees (work at a big co where many coworkers have 20+ yrs tenure), but people are starting to move me into the “older” age bracket as we talk about target markets.

I’ve always been bashful and a homebody, but I’m trying to get out more now so I don’t spend too much time on this in my head. Halloween night I went out “late” – left @10 to watch my younger brother play in his rock band. I hadn’t felt great all day and just went in the jeans & comfy sweatshirt I’d hung out in during the day. Surrounded by 20yo’s in mini-mini’s and knee-highs, I felt the total frump.

So, enough of my ranting – I can totally relate and appreciate your post, because I’m there. Let me know if you come upon any epiphanies. Maybe we could share. ... See all content Hide content

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miss rogue 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

@gabe

Glad you are enjoying it. So am I…though I feel misplaced – especially in the dating realm. Would be curious to hear from you how it translates from a male perspective (I would imagine differently). Naps are a gift, though.

@susie

@mike

I was not tipsy at all making this. I may have a bit of a cold (more like leftover allergies – another bonus from getting older).

@karen

Yay! Glad you could relate. I know that me looking young will help my career. Total double standard methinks. ... See all content Hide content

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Gabe Wachob 3 months, 1 week ago on Wordpress

36 is actually a pretty good age, I’m finding out. Old enough to be wise, young enough to still be dumb, sometimes. And now, I find myself able to take naps in the afternoon. A GIFT!

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missrogue 3 months, 1 week ago on Twitter

Video post on HPC: Confessions of a 36 year-old woman: http://bit.ly/xlL5G (would love to hear your own stories!)

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