The upside of being female

Women wish that they could stand and pee!

I consider it proof of evolutionary advancement of our species.

4 months ago by DChetty on Wordpress

Just to try to bring some balance into this conversation … I will give the male view on these topics:

1) Wear knee-high boots and be completely comfortable in them

- Men wear small comfortable shoes, allowing us to be able to run, jump, be agile and escape in the case of an emergency. Since you’l be wearing comfortable boots, you might need help getting away - and we’ll be able to help you with that since we are wearing sneakers.

2) Swing our hips when we walk (88 baby!)

We have worse balance, and if we were swinging our hips, we might fall over. Therefor, I’m glad to walk without falling and feel no need to swing my hips.

3) We don’t get distracted by boobs

This is a good thing. Most of the time.

4) Able to multi-task/ juggle

Right now, I’m watching a streaming video of an ethics conference in Nevada, constantly updating my Twitter feed, writing on your blog, embedding meta tags and geo locations in photos for my new Web site, responding to friends posts on Facebook and designing a newspaper that will print almost 400,000 times tomorrow. I think that counts.

5) Feel-good stuff (chick-flicks, gossip-magazines, bubble baths,

manicures etc.)

We have our own versions: (horror movies, sports magazines, messages, bars)

6) Retail therapy (we can actually enjoy shopping)

If were shopping for the right thing, it makes men happy to. Cars, cameras, computers, food … depends on what were into.

7) Can wear pink/purple/orange or even neon green and carry it well

No contest here.

High heels

This is also an upside for us. We don’t want them. We prefer you to wear them.

9) We can totally giggle

Most of the time this is an upside for us to. Happy females are my favorite kind.

10) Absence of balls (hence can never be kicked in the nuts)

We’ll trade this for not having Aunt Flow visit every month.

11) Can order ‘pretty’ drinks with umbrellas (Oh they are delicious!)

A glass of scotch, a full guiness, and a shot of tequilla can be quite sexy too.

12) Help is readily available with stubborn bottle caps, heavy doors etc.

We don’t need help with these things. One step ahead, means I eat my pickle first!

13) ‘Ladies first’ (especially in a queue)

A little bit of shivery makes us feel good to.

14) Can cry (even in public)

We save our tears till no one is around, then cry them into a jar till the tear fairy comes around and trades our much more rare tears for steaks.

15) Oh, and we can take a rest while we pee [Thanks @Crumbsey for this one]

We arn’t forced to rest while we pee. We have options. Many. ... See all content Hide content

4 months ago by Jonah Kessel on Wordpress